Hipstamatic... oh Yeah!

So the last couple days have been a bit insane.  

And a bit annoying.  And the week is just getting started.  

I'm trying to see the humor in the tantrums, mis-recorded doctor appointments, out of stock pharmacies, and two different rashes that have popped up on each of the boys.  Tomorrow I'll call the pediatrician, cancel my own appointment, go to the pharmacy again, and make a sticker reward chart for my terrific two year old.  And do laundry.  And clean up today's dishes and toys that I'm currently ignoring.  But where was I.  Oh yes.  Humor.  Ha!  

Amidst the craziness I have been playing with my new iphone camera app - Hipstamatic.  It is SO addicting.  Here is a little bit of the fun we've had in the last couple days. (FYI, there are thirty something photos... to see all of them, click the link at the bottom of this post)

Fabric Dyeing = Accidental Hippie Onsie

 
I got the crafty bug awhile ago and have been itching to do some projects.  Step one was my first attempt at fabric dyeing.  I have to say the results weren't quite what I was hoping for, but I had fun in the process! 

I started with some old shirts and some plain white onsies...

Mixed up the dye (I used the powdered RIT dye) in two separate containers.  I chose blue and brown.  Then I submerged the fabric. 

The instructions said to soak for a half hour, but who am I to listen, plus I wanted a very dark color... so I soaked them for FIVE hours, outside.... because the smell was giving me a headache.  It didn't help that it started to rain. 

When I finally pulled them out I realized my first mistake - too small of a container.  They looked tie-dyed!  But, that was actually kind of cool.  Hippie shirts, right?  The blue looked great, a light/dark combo.  The brown on the other hand, was a little bit purple.  Not going to work on my stylish little boy.  So...  my soon to be second cousin (Baby Girl Danger) is probably going to get a cute brown and purple hand dyed onsie.

Not for the Faint of Heart...

Imagine you're lying on your back, body tense, eyes blinking at the ceiling.  Your legs are drawn up to your chest, you are red faced and crying with pain.  Mom is by your side, holding on to your legs as she tries to keep you calm while you push with all your might.  All of a sudden, it's over.  You take a deep breath and smile, knowing the joy that comes after an experience like this.  

This was the scene on Nathans changing table a couple nights ago.  

Gross.  I know.  Sorry.  You thought I was telling a birth story right?  Nope.  For some reason I feel compelled to talk about Poo tonight.    

So, if you are still reading, you may be wondering why I am coaching my son through his Poos?  Because I am his mom.  And because he has been having some "issues" as we say in our house.  The poor little guy just can't get it out.  So, the prescription: Peaches, Pears, Plums are in, and rice cereal and bananas are out.  He has to eat pureed prunes or drink prune juice every day.  Yuck.  But... this means I get to get creative in the kitchen.  Today I enjoyed making baby Quinoa cereal (since we are avoiding gluten), tomorrow I'm making another batch of organic pears, and next week I'm working on peaches and plums.  I also stocked the cupboard with Earth's Best pears, sweet potatoes, and prunes.  Nathan.... we're gonna work out this issue.  Literally! 

Mmmmnnn, Prunes!

This is Why I Love My Life

Wordless Wednesday: An Everyday Morning

A litte something to pull out on their first dates...

Half a Year Old

It feels like just yesterday that I was scowling at the labor and delivery nurse for not taking my contractions seriously. Our bags in our arms, standing in front of the counter, I must have looked too relaxed. I wasn't. I was just ready to finish being pregnant. And I wanted to get started. Who wouldn't, really? Just look what I took home!

He still makes that face, except he is usually trying to shove something in his mouth.

I can't believe it's been six months. With Lucas, those first six months seemed to go slowly, waiting for and watching every milestone. I was learning how to be a parent and so wrapped up in all the shoulds and shouldn'ts of sleep, feeding, diapering, and more that I don't think I appreciated the newborn phase as much as I should have. With Nathan, it's been completely different. I have stared into his face every day and seen the miracle of life that he is. I have thanked God and my husband for giving me such a precious boy. I have held him and rocked him to sleep, knowing that he might be my last little baby. I don't want him to grow up. Not yet. But he already is. The newborn is gone, and in its place is a sweet, chubby, smiley boy that loves his mama and just wants to eat and play all day long. I am so proud of him, and so proud to be his mom!

Why I Love Boys

Because they sit in the front yard in an inflated boat and pretend to row in the rain
Because they run with all their might towards their next adventure...

Because I find myself completely surrounded by them, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Snow Day

One of my favorite family memories as a kid was piling into our red Volkswagen van and driving up to Mt. Pinos to play in the snow. Sometimes there was tons of snow, sometimes just a little brown mush on the side of the road. It was always such great anticipation of what we were going to find. My brother and I had these awesome patagonia snow suits and jackets, and big snow boots. We would layer those on with turtleneck sweaters and big thick socks, and we'd be ready to dive in and make a hundred snow angels. My parents even got us some round sleds to slide down the snowy hills. It was always so much fun. I also loved coming back to the van when we were done, covered in snow and wet from head to toe, to dry off and drink hot chocolate my mom had made early that morning. I don't know how to explain the feeling, it was just plain fun. It was one of the good things about being a kid. And now I get to share that good feeling with my own kids.

A couple weekends ago, we decided to try this ourselves. At two years old Lucas would hopefully be able to enjoy the snow, and Nathan is still happy to hang in the ergo, so we went for it. I packed up lunch for all of us, made the hot chocolate and coffee, and Ryan packed up all the snow clothes, chains for the car, and an inner tube to try some sledding. The drive took us less than two hours and we made it to the top of the mountain. It had snowed the night before, the trees were covered in a thick blanket, and it was breathtakingly beautiful. The mini road trip was a nice break for us, and it reminded me of why I love to live in Southern California. The ocean is just 10 minutes from our house, and beautiful snowy mountains less than two hours away. It couldn't be any better than this.

I can SO pull off these legs...

8 Weeks of Craziness and Love..... Part 1

Nathan is 8 weeks old today. Right about this time of day on September 18th, I was sitting on my couch with my friend Cindy, eating Taco Bell and telling her how I was having strong contractions again. That morning I had woken up to contractions, which was unusual for me. I had had a lot of Braxton Hicks, but never until I had been up and moving around for awhile. Once I got up, my stomach started feeling a little queasy, which I knew was also a sign of labor. However, I had so many plans for the day, I just figured it was nothing and I went along with my day. Visited my parents that morning, contractions were still coming so I got out my timer - nothing regular. My mom and dad looked nervously at me, telling me I was probably going to have the baby that night. I said no way, and was planning to go to Lucas' gym class at 5pm. The contractions went away and I put the thought in the back of my mind, but not before calling Ryan to "warn" him that I was feeling a bit different.
Cindy and I talked and shared pregnancy stories for a few hours while Lucas took a long nap, we laughed at my contractions, saying Nathan probably wouldn't be around for another week or two. She left around 3pm, and shortly afterward, my grandma stopped by to drop off some goodies for us. By the time she left it was about 4:30 and I called Ryan, who convinced me to call the doctor. It was almost 5 on a friday, so he though we should call just in case. I did, and they told me to go to the hospital. I still wasn't convinced, but I agreed.

By the time I called Ryan back and told him to come home, called my father in law to pick up Lucas, alerted my mom and grandma, and grabbed the hospital bags, I was having contractions 5-10 mins apart and they were getting stronger. And by the time we were in the car on our way, I was convinced Nathan was on his way. When we arrived at Labor and Delivery around 5:30 the nurses looked at me and Ryan, unconvinced that we should be there. I think we looked too calm. I started getting annoyed. Then one of them asked if it was our first baby, and when we said no, they sprung into action. I guess it is true that second babies come quicker than the first!

They checked us in to a delivery room for monitoring, and it of course was the same room Lucas had been delivered in. Memories flooded my head and I almost started to cry. Luke's birth had been the most amazing yet difficult and somewhat traumatic experience for me, but I wanted to stay as calm and positive as possible. This time would be different. I just knew it. After an hour or so of monitoring, the nurse told us we would be staying to have our baby! We called our family, sent out text messages, and even alerted facebook!

The labor part went pretty smoothly. I had decided already that I wanted an epidural, so I had that done before the contractions got too painful. I was given some pitocin to speed things up, the on call doctor broke my water, and things started moving quickly. There was a bit of concern because I had a fever when I arrived, and the babys heart rate was elevated. It turned out I was just dehydrated from my extra busy day, in the heat, and I hadn't been drinking much at all. Once I had enough fluids his heart rate went down to normal and everything looked good.

The epidural worked great, but soon I could tell it was time to push. When the nurse confirmed this, I started to cry. The whole thing was so emotional for me. It had been a very personal decision for me to go with a normal delivery rather than follow my doctor's recommendations to have a C Section. I really felt like I was meant to have the true birth experience, and was prepared to deal with whatever happened to my body because of that.

With Ryan on one side of me, my dad on the other, and my mom, Ryan's mom, and my grandma all in the room with us, I had so much emotional support. Things took a bit of a turn when Nathan showed some signs of distress after awhile of pushing. I heard the nurse mention a vacuum, at which point I just closed my eyes, the doctor came running in, and a few minutes later our little miracle arrived, at 11:33pm. He was limp, blue, and not breathing but the amazing nurses took great care of him and within minutes he was perfect. It turned out they didn't need the vacuum. I did it, all by myself. Even with the epidural it was the most intense pain I had ever felt in my life. There were moments I though I couldn't breathe, couldn't push, felt overwhelmingly sick, but I did it anyway, and because of that I feel stronger than I have ever felt in my life.

Once they handed Nathan to me, he never left our sight. That first night, neither Ryan or I slept. We just held him close, marveled over the experience and how happy we were.

To Be Continued.... day 2 and the first 8 weeks.

Nathan is One Month Old... and I am 30!

Nathan had his one month doctor appointment on Monday. He weighed 10 lbs, 14 oz, and was 22 inches. So, he has already gained 2 1/2 pounds and one inch! He is growing great, and doing really well. One thing we are a little worried about is his constant grunting and gassiness. He seems quite uncomfortable much of the time, so we are trying some probiotics once a day, and I am going to cut more foods out of my diet (dairy, soy, etc). Hopefully things improve on that end but over all he is doing very well. He is a good sleeper and eater. Last night he slept for 5 1/2 hours, his longest stretch yet. Too bad I didn't go to bed when he did... I was up till about 11 so I only took advantage of a couple hours in a row. The rest of the night he woke up every two hours!
He is starting to interact with us a little more. We have had a few "real" smiles now, and he seems to be making some little faces at us sometimes. He likes to listen to us talk and sing to him, and loves watching our faces. He is such a good little baby. He even is happy to sit in his bouncy seat or swing when his tummy isn't bugging him.

Sooo... in other news... I am 30. Ugh. Everyone (everyone older than 30 that is) says the 30s are the best years, so I am hoping so! I'm thinking they are going to be a little foggy with all this sleep deprivation and focus on the kids for awhile, but I am excited nonetheless. I am happy and proud to have so much to show for my 30 years. Two wonderful little boys that Ryan and I are raising together, already an accomplishment but an exciting challenge as well.
Celebrations were a bit spread out this year. My family's get-together was canceled when my parents and brother ended up with a bad flu and were confined to their house for a few days. Ryan took me out with the boys and I got to pick out some new sunglasses (prescription, yay!) and some other fun stuff. We also got together with Ryan's family over last weekend to celebrate, and went to the pumpkin patch with the kids. They had a hay ride, a train ride, music, a maze, and lots of animals. It was a lot of fun! Now we are back to the daily routine, or at least trying to find a daily routine.....

37 weeks

We are 37 weeks today. I can't believe how the time has flown by! Where has this pregnancy gone? Today Nathan is considered full term. He can be born any time now and should be able to function perfectly in our great big world. Now, the waiting begins. Ryan and I are so excited to meet him. I can't wait to see his little face, to hear his little voice, to count his little fingers and toes. I can't wait to introduce him to his big brother, his grandparents, and all our friends. This little guy is going to make us a real family of four.

He is going to be lucky as the second child. This time we know more of what we are doing, we won't be quite so clueless, he won't be as much of an experiment in parenting. Hopefully we'll remember the tricks that worked with Lucas and we'll be a little more confident this time around.

I have noticed lately, with my giant protruding belly, that I have a bit more respect in the mom community. Other moms I barely know or don't even know at all are asking me for advice, like I know what I'm doing or something. They see me leading Lucas by the hand as I waddle into his gym class or the grocery store and for some reason they think I have the answer to parenthood. It is the strangest thing, because I still feel like I have to clue what I'm doing. I wonder every day if I am making the right choices for Lucas. I am doing the best I can, and I hope that is good enough. I do remember though, when I was pregnant with Lucas, seeing other moms out in public, wondering how they do it. I'd see moms of two or three and admire them, thinking about what it would be like to be in their situation. Now I am, and it's so surreal!

A lot of moms of one child lately have been asking me how I knew I was ready to have another baby. They wonder how I am going to do it with two boys. I can see in their faces that they are thinking about it, but they are hesitant and a bit scared. Well, the truth is I didn't feel ready yet, but I felt this twinge in my heart, this little hormonal tug that told me it was time. It wasn't common sense or planning, it was my heart, and Ryan's too. We both wanted this, whether we were ready or not and so this surprise pregnancy was in fact a surprise, and not planned at all, but it wasn't an accident. It was what we wanted. And the truth is that I have no clue how I'm going to do it. I am entering into a very challenging time of my life, especially staying home full time. I won't have an outlet or an escape into the adult world except for at playdates, conversations with Ryan or my mom, and maybe a weekly trip to the grocery store if I'm lucky. But I know it's coming this time. I remember the challenges and I know they can only be greater when there are two little ones tugging on my arms and crying when they need something. But at the same time, that is the most wonderful part of this whole situation. There will be TWO little ones. Two sets of little eyes and two little voices calling me Mama, two hugs at bedtime, two hands to hold, and two perfect little people that Ryan and I made and are raising in our family. It just doesn't get much better than that.

Miracle Please, not Medical

I have considered a C Section throughout my pregnancy. Just the thought of going through the trauma I did last time is enough to make most women never want to deliver another baby. But, at the same time, I want a second chance. I want a chance to enjoy the experience, the miracle of the birth process that my body is meant to carry out.

When the doctor and nurses delivered Lucas I thought he was gone. His heart rate was so low and they had to get him out so fast, there was panic on the face of the nurses in the room and I watched as they pounded on his chest and back, harder than I thought was safe for a couple second old baby. I remember saying, "Why isn't he crying?! Is he okay? Why isn't he crying!?". I was crying myself, and I can remember the fear and weakness in my heart, thinking I had lost my baby. I remember my moms face, she was telling me he was okay, over and over. I don't know if she really believed it at the time, but those words made me strong, and when the moment finally came that I heard my son crying for the first time, it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

The experience I had during Lucas' birth was very difficult for me, and the first nine months of physical recover following was a challenge. Dealing with pain for months and months in a part of your body that it isn't so socially acceptable to talk about with others, going though a surgery a couple months after delivery, and feeling like my body wasn't anywhere near normal for almost a year afterwards has been hard, but it has also made me stronger. I got through it. And I can do it again.

I have had people comment on the bond I have with Lucas, they can see how much I love him and how attached he is to me. I think this bond is partly because of the process we went through at birth. Feeling like I almost lost the most precious thing in the world has made me hold on tighter to what I have, and it helps me to appreciate every moment I do have. It gives me patience when I am wavering. It sends me back to reality when I am wrapped up in my own tiredness and frustration. I love Lucas with every ounce of my heart and soul and being his mom has changed my life in the most amazing ways. I am not the same person I was a couple years ago. I am stronger and more confident, I am more me than I have ever been.

So yesterday my doctor brought up a C Section at our weekly appointment. I trust this doctor very much, and I really believe he thinks it is the best thing for me. And I understand the reasoning. He can't guarantee me that I won't have another 4th degree tear unless I opt for surgery. I thought about it more after the appointment. I went home and did a little reading on the cesarean process. I talked with my family. Not everyone will agree with my decision, but I am going to follow my gut instincts, and that is to try for a normal birth again. I want the experience I never had with Lucas. I want the miracle of birth, not the medical option. So that is what we are going to do, unless an emergency comes up and a C Section is necessary for mine or Nathan's safety. I know my doctors will support my decision, and I know my family will too. I believe in my heart that it is the right decision for me, no matter what the outcome may be.

33 Weeks

Here I am at 33 weeks with Nathan. This picture was in the last blog but I wanted to show it here too, since I'm not too crazy about the bare belly shots below.
I feel huge, have been having lots of contractions, and our last two ultrasounds have shown that Nathan is significantly bigger than average right now. I'm hoping this is just a miss-measurement because I am not wanting to deliver a 9 or 10 pound baby. We'll see what my doctor has to say on Friday...

Here is the belly picture for 33 weeks, and just for fun, compare to the one below that was taken at 39 weeks when I was pregnant with Lucas. Not much different, eh?

The Big List is Done

Yesterday I finished the last of my organization projects.... the last on my "before Nathan arrives" list. I went to the office to wipe it off my whiteboard (yes, I'm that nerdy) for some instant gratification, and then I kind of freaked out a little. Ryan walked by and I told him "I'm done with my list! What do I do now?" He told me to sit down. Sit down? Is that really possible? I'm about 33 weeks pregnant and the nesting instinct is so intense right now that I'm about ready to go reorganize the kitchen pantry and cupboards even though they are absolutely fine how they are. For the last, oh 18 weeks or so Lucas and I have been working on all kinds of random household projects together. We spend most afternoons going through things, cleaning, sorting, and organizing. What are we going to do with our afternoons now? I guess we are just going to play!

Nathan's room is almost done. We just have to get a few things on the walls and get the babyproofing done. There's a few things in the attic still to come down, a few things to wash and put back together, but for the most part.... it's ready for his arrival.

Still, I feel just a bit unsettled. I need to come up with more projects! Everything left involves sitting..... yes... SITTING! At my computer, at the desk, at the table, you get the idea. So, I guess for the next 4-7 weeks I will be doing filing, scrapbooking, blogging, menu planning, reading, and twiddling my thumbs while I wait for this little monkey to arrive.

Nathan's Room

Here is the start to Nathan's room.....

I picked out some fabrics awhile ago, now I just have to get sewing. The blue one is for new cushions on the glider chair and also is going to be combined with the bird fabric for a quilt and little lovey blanket. I am thinking of making a car seat cover out of the bird fabric too. The yellow monkey flannel is going to just be some fun little burp cloths and maybe a small blanket. The white monkey print is a sheet from babies r us that we are using in the crib, and the cream colored terry cloth is going to be for some changing table covers.
Here is the crib we got at Ikea, it has a drawer underneath for storage, and we also got the canopy from Ikea too, couldn't resist since it fits with our animal theme, and it has leaves along the sides.
We found this red dresser that fits in great with the colors of the room, lots of space for little boy clothes! I picked out the round boxes as well, and we loved the green rug we found for the floor. Again, all Ikea.
And here is the changing table, it is portable, it folds up, and it has lots of pockets for all the baby supplies. We got the little hamper on the side as well. I'm going to make covers for it so I'm not sure how much of the black will show when it's all done.
And here's the glider we found on Craigslist! It's in great shape, I am just making some new cushion covers for it. We got the giant leaf at Ikea, the room is going to be like a jungle when we're done with it!