Ugh... and other random thoughts.

My blog has turned into a photo gallery of my kids. I'm not sure if that's okay. Is it? The lack of sleep and continuous whining, shouting, crying, and feeding is getting to me. I think my brain has shrunk, and the only tid bits of conversation that I can squeek out are something along the lines of "Nathan hasn't pooped in four days", or "Did you see the seseme street episode where....?". Seriously. This is what my life has come to.

As I sit here, my eyes are burning from being up late last night, and up twice after that to feed Nathan. Lucas is sleeping, after we just spent a half hour in the car listening to the one calming song on our kindermusik CD over, and over, and over again. I am craving chocolate, but trying to use my blueberry green tea to help me over come the intense need. Nathan is sleeping too, in his car seat by the front door where I left him when we got home. This is the first moment of complete quiet I have had in at least a week.
Ahhhh, I am trying to enjoy it.

I had a dream last night that I was trapped underground and couldn't get out. There were all these tunnels and it was so hard to get through them. I finally got to one that had a very small opening to the outside world, and I just stayed there, calling for help. There were a lot of other people trapped too, but Ryan, Lucas, and Nathan weren't there. When we finally got out I was hugging the rescuers over and over again, and then I woke up. At least I got rescued before I woke up! What does this have to do with anything? I don't know. But this is how my brain works lately, going from one random thought to another - Nathan is crying, gotta feed him, Lucas wants his smoothie, gizmo is meowing at me because it is raining and he wont' go outside for his food, I need to pack Ryan's lunch, did I remember to brush my teeth yet, when is the auto insurance due again? Somehow among all of this, I manage to keep my kids clean, fed, safe, and warm, and myself somewhat pulled together, but I can't seem to sit and keep a train of thought long enough to write about it. This is a rare moment, I think.

If it isn't already obvious, I am having a hard day. Yes. I am whining. I am tired. I am crabby. And I just want someone to take care of me for a change. I want to sleep all night long. I want the first shower in the morning. I want to have somewhere important to go. I want dinner cooked for me, laundry folded for me, and the house to magically be clean all the time. Waahh wahhh waaahhhhh.

Ok. I'm done. I will stop whining. It's not productive, and well, Nathan is awake. Sooo.... On with my day!

How's that for a well organized and composed blog post?! :-)

New Year's Resolutions 2010

December 2009 has almost come to and end, and the new year is just around the corner. I have been thinking a lot about resolutions in the last few weeks. Last year I wrote some, intended to follow them all, and only followed a few. I think that is pretty good, considering our lives took an unexpected turn in January with the news of Nathan's upcoming arrival.

This year, I am hoping will be different. It will be busy, of course. Full of firsts for Nathan and lots of activities for Lucas, lots of hard work for Ryan, and me, well, I'll just be trying to help everyone manage it all. Hopefully I can squeeze a little me time in as well.

Here are my resolutions this year...

#1. Eat Better! Myself, and the whole family. And while we're at it, get some exercise too! (yeah, yeah, we all say this, right?! well, I need to actually do it. more veggies and whole grains, less sugar and processed snacks)

#2. Blog more regularly. (this one is a big one for me, blogging is my "me" time... writing is my passion and I want to spend more time doing this for myself)

#3. Less clean up, more fun! (I want to focus less on taking care of the house, and more on playing with the kiddos. Lucas plays so well by himself that I sometimes take advantage of it, and spend all our time cleaning or doing housework. I want to have more one on one time with him doing fun activities, learning new things, and more.)

#4. Recycle, re-purpose, re-use, or re-sell.... instead of storing it in the garage. (I want to have less junk sitting around, and want to get rid of it in the best way possible!)

#5. Shop online or outside rather than in-store. (i.e. farmers markets, garage sales, amazon, etc...this will save me gas, time, and money!)