Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Ugh... and other random thoughts.

My blog has turned into a photo gallery of my kids. I'm not sure if that's okay. Is it? The lack of sleep and continuous whining, shouting, crying, and feeding is getting to me. I think my brain has shrunk, and the only tid bits of conversation that I can squeek out are something along the lines of "Nathan hasn't pooped in four days", or "Did you see the seseme street episode where....?". Seriously. This is what my life has come to.

As I sit here, my eyes are burning from being up late last night, and up twice after that to feed Nathan. Lucas is sleeping, after we just spent a half hour in the car listening to the one calming song on our kindermusik CD over, and over, and over again. I am craving chocolate, but trying to use my blueberry green tea to help me over come the intense need. Nathan is sleeping too, in his car seat by the front door where I left him when we got home. This is the first moment of complete quiet I have had in at least a week.
Ahhhh, I am trying to enjoy it.

I had a dream last night that I was trapped underground and couldn't get out. There were all these tunnels and it was so hard to get through them. I finally got to one that had a very small opening to the outside world, and I just stayed there, calling for help. There were a lot of other people trapped too, but Ryan, Lucas, and Nathan weren't there. When we finally got out I was hugging the rescuers over and over again, and then I woke up. At least I got rescued before I woke up! What does this have to do with anything? I don't know. But this is how my brain works lately, going from one random thought to another - Nathan is crying, gotta feed him, Lucas wants his smoothie, gizmo is meowing at me because it is raining and he wont' go outside for his food, I need to pack Ryan's lunch, did I remember to brush my teeth yet, when is the auto insurance due again? Somehow among all of this, I manage to keep my kids clean, fed, safe, and warm, and myself somewhat pulled together, but I can't seem to sit and keep a train of thought long enough to write about it. This is a rare moment, I think.

If it isn't already obvious, I am having a hard day. Yes. I am whining. I am tired. I am crabby. And I just want someone to take care of me for a change. I want to sleep all night long. I want the first shower in the morning. I want to have somewhere important to go. I want dinner cooked for me, laundry folded for me, and the house to magically be clean all the time. Waahh wahhh waaahhhhh.

Ok. I'm done. I will stop whining. It's not productive, and well, Nathan is awake. Sooo.... On with my day!

How's that for a well organized and composed blog post?! :-)


  1. Just so you know...these problems are definitely not just you. Babies do something to you that makes your brain atrophy. I'm sure of it. When I'm working I always write down what time the baby eats and sleeps because I will have no clue at the end of the day. I used to be able to add up numbers in my head (like at the grocery store) and know exactly how much I owed at the checkout...including tax. Now I'm lucky if I can remember my pin number. I know that you know, but it WILL get easier and its not just you!!!

  2. I know kinda how you feel minus a toddler...I have some days where I am like going a mile a minute, I started smiling at the part where you were talking about the cat...the other day Roxy was at the back door, Bailey was screaming, someone was at the door, and my phone was ringing, and I was like OMG what the heck!! So I let the door go and the phone go and the baby go (no just kidding, grabbed the the baby) and walked to the back door to let Roxy out to play. I then sat on the couch to feed Bailey and was exhausted...Let's plan something fun next week... You are loved and it is okay to feel overwhelmed, you are a mommy and it just happens :)!


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