ABC's to Mudslides, and Everything in Between...

I wish I could open this post with something that would snatch your attention and draw you in, giving you no choice but to hang on to every descriptive word I type, reading line after line after line, unable to stop.  I wish I had something so profound to tell you, that you would be forced to stop and think, laugh, smile, or cry.  I wish I had something to say that would stay with you all day and into the night, invading your dreams and the quietness of the night.  I wish I knew what to write, at this very moment, but I do not.  

I could write about summer, today being the first day of the season.  Our plans for swimming and barbecues, mini-vacations and daily adventures.  

I could write about the boys.... how Lucas can sing his ABC's from start to finish or how Nathan can feed himself an entire meal now.  How I no longer have to puree an array of vegetable, fruit, and soup concoctions and freeze them into little cubes. 

I could write about weaning, about how hard it is emotionally to let go of that connection with my son.  A little thought in the back of my mind that says "maybe he's my last baby" and I'm not ready for him to grow up yet.  Back to nursing in the middle of the night, and sleeping less, simply because that is our quiet time, and is the only time he will accept me over a bottle. 

or maybe this...

Standing in the checkout line of CVS yesterday, I looked at the conveyor belt.  

In front of me a young girl, I'm guessing seventeen, has a basket of cover girl makeup, sour patch kids, and spicy cheetos.  She looks young, shy, and naive.  A beautiful young woman dreaming of her future, or maybe just a summer of fun, a new boyfriend, or an escape to college in the fall.  

I find myself envying her innocence and freedom, remembering my own inner turmoil at such a young age.  

I glance behind me and glimpse another basket, and a whole other spectrum of the universe.  

An older man, guessing middle sixties, with a bottle of mudslide mix, some beef jerky, and a jar of peanuts.  

The innocence is gone.  The freedom is there but it is clouded over by alcohol, bills, and a large dose of reality.  Is he wondering what happened to his youth?  

I looked in my own basket.  Baby Q-tips.  Calamine lotion.  Red Bulls for Ryan.  A squirt gun and Diego gloves for Lucas.  Not bad, I thought, I may have lost my innocence, but I've grown into a wife, mother, and bill paying homeowner.  When I need innocence, I can look at the faces of the two most precious boys in the world.  When I need freedom, I can come to my computer and write, write, write.  And I can enjoy every second of my life, with or without the beef jerky and mudslides. 

Spring Blog Party! Want to join me?

Welcome!  If you are here from 5 Minutes for Mom's Ultimate Blog Party, thank you for visiting my site!  Please take a look around and let me know what you think.  If not, click on the link above, and JOIN THE PARTY! 

Who am I?  By day I'm a 30 year old Southern California girl, a stay at home mom to two amazing little boys, and wife to my awesome super-techy husband.  By night I'm an espresso powered blogger, amateur seamstress, and obsessive-compulsive list maker.  I love to dream.  I love to create.  And I love to inspire others.   This is why I blog. 

Here is why you'll want to stick around:

I'm honest.  And I'm open minded. I practice real life parenting. 

I'm also practical.  And I follow my heart.  

I have good ideas.  That work.  Most of the time.

I love to write.  And I write ALOT. 

My kids are adorable.   But I'm not biased or anything. 

  

Evidence:  Cutest kids in the world

I made this entire outfit, myself... 

We tattooed our kid at Easter.  That's just how we roll...

I spend a lot of time cooking for my kids...

Plums... aren't they pretty?

And baking gluten free

I love my hat!  And I wear it ALOT. 

Dude... right?!

More evidence:  Cutest baby there is!

yeah, you get it now right?  Cute!

I talk about Poo a lot.  I'm a mom, after all. 

My inspiration, my totally awesome boys. 

Our perfect family.

Our dog.  And yeah, he's a boy too! 

Thanks for stopping by today!  If you like what you see, please subscribe to my feed, or click the follow button in my sidebar.  And always, leave me a comment so I know you were here!  

Love,

Suzanne Jeanette

 

Reinventing Suzanne

Who are you?  Who are you right now?  Who do you want to be right now?  Who do you want to be someday?  Do you even know?  Or is it always changing?  Is that you that you struggle to be really who you want to be?  Or is it who you think you should be? 

I know, it's a little deeper than my usual discussions on Poo and Parenting.  Sorry.  But stay with me  here.  I am trying to explain to you why I am changing my blog.  Again. 

I'm struggling a bit today, not because I was up 5 times last night with  Nathan (who I will now lovingly refer to as baby bug), or because Lucas (little bug) has literally been screaming in my ear all day, but because I don't know what I'm doing.  One day all I want to do is sew.  The next day, write.  The next day, cook.  Or shop.  Or run.  Or just play with my kids.  And I want to blog about all of it!  Why can't I just focus on one thing?  As soon as I get something the way I like it I want to rearrange it again.  From furniture to the garage to my blog and to my future goals, things just never stay the same.  It's enough to drive a person crazy.  

So, who am I?  I feel like I am always asking myself this question.  And when I try to answer, I tend to confuse who I think I am, with who I really want to be.  Who am I, really?  A mom.  A wife.  A daughter.  But that's who I am to someone else.  Who am I to me?  What am I?  A writer?  An artist? I don't know.  If I were just me, no husband, no kids, no parents or siblings, no career, no friends... who would I be? I haven't a clue. 

I feel like I have a hard time answering this question because I am always changing.  I always have a new goal, a new project.  I cannot stick to one thing.  I am always reinventing myself.  Is it because I have not yet found who I am really supposed to be?  Will I ever find the me I want to be?  Or will I struggle with this until the day I die?

So I am wondering, am I alone in this?  Am I the only 30 year old out there who is consumed with life as a mother, trying to do a hundred little projects in her spare time, but doesn't have a clue what she really wants to do with her life?  Tell me.  I want to know. 

Blogs are my Water Cooler

Today is Marvelous Monday.

Not the dreaded first day of the week, but a new day with a chance to welcome the good things in life. The Marvelous things.

I have a lot to be thankful for right now. Friends. Family. My Husband. Our Home. I could go on and on and on. But today I'm going to take a lighter note and talk about one thing that has been on my mind a lot lately. Blogs.

Blogs are Marvelous! A few years ago when I started my first blog, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I didn't know about the many many wonderful and creative women that I would get a chance to "virtually" meet and share my thoughts with.

I didn't know I'd be getting money saving tips, gluten free recipes, and kids craft ideas. I didn't know I'd be keeping up with friends and family via blogger and wordpress rather than email. I didn't know a lot of things, but I am so thankful I stumbled into it when I did.

The thing about being a stay at home mom is that your adult world disappears the second your baby takes his first breath, and suddenly all you do all day is deal with diapers, drool, a playdate or two, and lots of whining and crying. There is no water cooler conversation, there is no lunch break, and the day doesn't end at Five O'clock. It is a never ending, all encompassing, heavy duty, hard working job. And, I'm not complaining at all, I absolutely love it. My point is, blogs are my water cooler. They are my outlet, my window to the outside adult world where people actually get to spend time doing the things I long to do. They teach me ways to manage my home life, learn to be a better mom, and help me remember and reconnect with who I am.

I have been so inspired lately by project after project. I want to cook, sew, knit, take photographs, and write. I've found at least 15 new blogs that I LOVE just in the last week, and they have lifted my mood, mind, and spirit immensely. For this I am grateful.

Here are a few of my current favorites. Maybe you'll be inspired too.
Puddle Jumping Designs
made by rae
MADE

Blogs are my water cooler. What about you?


Enjoy Monday everyone, and thanks Rachel for letting me be a part of Marvelous Mondays!

I Write To Be Happy

Writing, for me, is as much a necessity as chocolate. or lip gloss.

it's just one of those things that I have to do. to stay alive. to stay sane.

to understand myself and my own emotions.

it is how I get through difficult times, and it is how I celebrate joyous times.

I am more me when I write than any other time.

I'm not a speaker, I'm never the life of the party. I'm the quiet observer.

I take it all in, I process, and I write. I go through my daily life as mom and wife, and at the end of the day I can't rest until I've released a little bit of that energy through writing.

I am Suzanne Jeanette. I just turned 30 years old. I'm a stay at home mom to two wonderful little boys, and a wife to my tech-geek husband. I love my family. They keep me laughing every day, and they are my reason for being.

I have three goals for this blog:

1. To share my thoughts and ideas with anyone who will listen.

2. To meet and inspire other writers and moms who can relate to my thoughts.

3. To help other moms like me understand that we can find ways to do things for ourselves every day - caring both for our bodies by giving them what they need, and our minds by doing the things we love to do, and involving our children throughout the process.

I stumbled upon a quote about a year ago:

Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. - Max Ehrmann

It really sums up what I am trying to get at. We need to be gentle with ourselves. We need to realize that we too are delicate beings that deserve to be cared for. We need to make the time we need to care for ourselves. Find an outlet, and show our families what we love to do. Get them involved. Make the time we need every day to do the things that keep us happy and inspired. That is why I started this blog. Because I need to write to be happy.

What do you need to do to be happy?

I used to have a pile of notebooks next to my bed. I wrote poetry, stories, and free writes about whatever was on my mind at the time. These notebooks got me through high school and college, through my journey from adolescence to adulthood, through a period of depression and anxiety, and through my early dating years. They helped me realize who I was and who I wanted to be. Now, those notebooks are in a nice little box in the attic. Now, I blog. All my thoughts, ideas, and emotions are here for you to see. I hope you like what you see.