Saturday, September 12, 2009

37 weeks


We are 37 weeks today. I can't believe how the time has flown by! Where has this pregnancy gone? Today Nathan is considered full term. He can be born any time now and should be able to function perfectly in our great big world. Now, the waiting begins. Ryan and I are so excited to meet him. I can't wait to see his little face, to hear his little voice, to count his little fingers and toes. I can't wait to introduce him to his big brother, his grandparents, and all our friends. This little guy is going to make us a real family of four.

He is going to be lucky as the second child. This time we know more of what we are doing, we won't be quite so clueless, he won't be as much of an experiment in parenting. Hopefully we'll remember the tricks that worked with Lucas and we'll be a little more confident this time around.

I have noticed lately, with my giant protruding belly, that I have a bit more respect in the mom community. Other moms I barely know or don't even know at all are asking me for advice, like I know what I'm doing or something. They see me leading Lucas by the hand as I waddle into his gym class or the grocery store and for some reason they think I have the answer to parenthood. It is the strangest thing, because I still feel like I have to clue what I'm doing. I wonder every day if I am making the right choices for Lucas. I am doing the best I can, and I hope that is good enough. I do remember though, when I was pregnant with Lucas, seeing other moms out in public, wondering how they do it. I'd see moms of two or three and admire them, thinking about what it would be like to be in their situation. Now I am, and it's so surreal!

A lot of moms of one child lately have been asking me how I knew I was ready to have another baby. They wonder how I am going to do it with two boys. I can see in their faces that they are thinking about it, but they are hesitant and a bit scared. Well, the truth is I didn't feel ready yet, but I felt this twinge in my heart, this little hormonal tug that told me it was time. It wasn't common sense or planning, it was my heart, and Ryan's too. We both wanted this, whether we were ready or not and so this surprise pregnancy was in fact a surprise, and not planned at all, but it wasn't an accident. It was what we wanted. And the truth is that I have no clue how I'm going to do it. I am entering into a very challenging time of my life, especially staying home full time. I won't have an outlet or an escape into the adult world except for at playdates, conversations with Ryan or my mom, and maybe a weekly trip to the grocery store if I'm lucky. But I know it's coming this time. I remember the challenges and I know they can only be greater when there are two little ones tugging on my arms and crying when they need something. But at the same time, that is the most wonderful part of this whole situation. There will be TWO little ones. Two sets of little eyes and two little voices calling me Mama, two hugs at bedtime, two hands to hold, and two perfect little people that Ryan and I made and are raising in our family. It just doesn't get much better than that.

8 comments:

  1. You are awesome! I have always looked up to you for advice and help!! You are a great Momma to Lucas and I hope I can be that good with my little Bailey (and I am sure I will be calling you with questions!) We will both be home for a little while and can use each other as an outlet! I can not wait to meet Nathan!!

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  2. You are soo ALL baby! You look amazing!!

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  3. You look so pretty. Seeing you in the red top reminded me of you in the red dress for your first birthday, but now you are having your second son. You make us proud!

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  4. lol!! is that the top from forever 21?! I have it too...somehow it looks a bit different on you :) You look great!

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  5. Cindy, you will be a wonderful mommy, it comes naturally, you will see! And, thanks to my wonderful mommy for teaching me everything I know!

    Guess I should have worn that shirt earlier, I had forgotten about it since the last pregnancy. :) Yep, it's the one from forever 21, I bought it when you were with me Jenny! I didn't know you had it too, how funny!

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  6. You really look radiant!

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  7. Do you read Mothering Magazine? I just got it today. It looks like it has some great birth stories in the current issue...if you are interested.

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  8. who knew that Nathan would be arriving after you wrote this blog.

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