Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Overhaul in the near future?

I feel like I need to overhaul my life. or myself. no, my life. What I mean is, it has been nearly a year since I had a haircut, two years since I got new glasses, months since I had a pedicure... you get the picture. I hope I don't sound too spoiled here, but for me these are longer periods of time than should be allowed. I need new clothes too, maternity pants mostly, since I don't think the whole world wants to see me in my sweat pants on a daily basis.

I feel like I am trying to do too many things, trying to concentrate on too many areas and it is actually impossible to be able to carry out everything I want to do. From blogging to meal planning and coupon clipping, to trying to survive daily laundry and cleaning and lucas, not to mention the lack of energy I have due to this nearly 12 week old little being inside of me. In addition to all that I want to get out, to see my friends, to laugh and commiserate.

And don't forget the fact that I am a wife. I miss my husband. I would like to go out on a date, and have an actual conversation with him - something that doesn't involve what we are watching on tv tonight or what's for dinner or how Lucas napped today.

So, I am not really sure where I am going with all of this right now... I think I just needed to unload my brain. It is swimming with way too many thoughts these days and I don't have the energy to keep up with it. In some ways this is a good thing. I mean, I am excited about so many things. I love challenges. I want to spend time on all of these things, but I just can't fit them all in!

In a perfect world, I would exercise 4 days a week, cook a healthy dinner 6 days a week, go out with my husband once a week, compile all my errands/shopping into one day a week, clean the house and do laundry only once a week, buy all my food and toiletries on sale and with coupons, feed my kids all organic food, make my own cloth diapers, go on at least 2-3 play dates a week, have time to write every day, plan family outings every weekend, and not be frazzled and exhausted at the end of every single day.

Is this why I'm stressed out? I want SO badly to be this organized, to BE this person that can do everything. However, I am living real life. I have a messy house, I call my husband at least 2-3 nights a week to bring home dinner. My exercise consists of chasing lucas at the park and wrestling him during diaper changes. My laundry sits in piles for a week at a time and the whole family wears wrinkled clothes, I run to the store at least 3 times a week, and we contribute tons of disposable diapers to the landfills. I am human!

Even though I tell myself all of this, I still want to be that person, and I'm still going to try. So I don't think I've solved anything here, other than realizing that I am going to keep trying to do it all so I better get used to being tired and having a wild and crazy swimming brain. bleh! I wouldn't be me if I weren't trying and hoping to eventually be the "perfect" me.


  1. It's important to take care of your mental health. If that means getting a pedicure every once in a while to boost your mental health and make you a better person, it's worth it.

    Also, running after toddlers is hard! I get exhausted after only a couple hours, but you do it all day, every day. That sounds like a lot of exercise to me.

    My mom used the word Frazzled a lot when I was growing up. I don't hear it much anywhere else, so it makes me think of my mom.

  2. oh no... do only moms use the word frazzled? :-) I better work on my vocabulary!

    I agree, I'm going for the pedicure asap!

  3. You are a superwoman! Only one step at a time, it is not the little day to day things we remember in like 10 years but the time spent :)! If you can not fix dinner, have something out, plus it might allow you to do something else, and on those days you do get dinner on the table, enjoy :) You are amazing to do all these things at once, but you definitely should enjoy some pampering (and not the diaper type!!)

  4. Yeah, my mom said frazzled all the time too.

  5. If Lucas is ready for an overnight we can help with that. You & Ryan deserve some time together in the second tri-mester. Just let us know !


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