I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. Please excuse me. You see, I’ve had a bit of bloggers block. And along with that, a bit of an identity crisis. I also crushed my foot with my son’s high chair, could barely walk for a week. And we’ve been potty training. Needless to say, a lot has been going on.
We all have moments in our life that make us stop and think, reevaluate our priorities, attitudes, and the way we spend our time. I have had moment after moment like this lately. Some sprung out of heart wrenching situations such as seeing family members slowly slip away or a neighbor losing life as he knew it when confronted with a blood clot to the brain. Some out of my own guilt as I find myself becoming frustrated and angry at my own children as they test me, repeatedly through the day. Where is my patience? Where is my grace? My appreciation for the life I have?
I even asked my doctor, as he inspected my swollen, discolored right foot, “what can I do about my mood swings?”. He gave me a standardized depression quiz, scored it, and told me I was normal. I didn’t need any mood altering drugs. Well, okay. I guess that’s that. I’m normal. Where’s the help for us crazy normal people? Exercise, he said. And meditate. Well duh. If I had time to exercise and meditate I wouldn’t be in this funk!
Anyway, maybe by now you are starting to think I’ve really lost it. Maybe I have, just a little bit. So, I’m going to find “it”. Whatever “it” is. Really. Just you watch. If I have to get up at 5 am just to exercise and meditate, then that’s what I’ll do.
We all have moments in our life that make us stop and think, reevaluate our priorities, attitudes, and the way we spend our time. I have had moment after moment like this lately. Some sprung out of heart wrenching situations such as seeing family members slowly slip away or a neighbor losing life as he knew it when confronted with a blood clot to the brain. Some out of my own guilt as I find myself becoming frustrated and angry at my own children as they test me, repeatedly through the day. Where is my patience? Where is my grace? My appreciation for the life I have?
I even asked my doctor, as he inspected my swollen, discolored right foot, “what can I do about my mood swings?”. He gave me a standardized depression quiz, scored it, and told me I was normal. I didn’t need any mood altering drugs. Well, okay. I guess that’s that. I’m normal. Where’s the help for us crazy normal people? Exercise, he said. And meditate. Well duh. If I had time to exercise and meditate I wouldn’t be in this funk!
Anyway, maybe by now you are starting to think I’ve really lost it. Maybe I have, just a little bit. So, I’m going to find “it”. Whatever “it” is. Really. Just you watch. If I have to get up at 5 am just to exercise and meditate, then that’s what I’ll do.
Hugs to you! I know what it's like to get in a funk, and wonder who you really are. That's actually why I started my blog, so I could do something for myself. It works some days, but I still get in a funk other days. Parenthood really does change your life. Hope you find a path back to contentedness.
ReplyDeleteHope you start to feel better :)
ReplyDeleteI have learned that if I stay home too much I go crazy. Getting out of the house is the only way to stay sane sometimes. And some days I can't wait to (gasp!) go back to work! :)
ReplyDeleteBTW, I love, love, love the new blog design! It's super cute.
Thanks friends! I feel better already, just getting back to writing was a big part of it. And I was making dinner tonight with my sweet little guy in the ergo, he kept smiling up at me and making me laugh. Life is good, I just need to remember where my priorities are. Health. Family. Love. Happiness. What else do we need? :)
ReplyDeleteI know that I always say this, but I swear that you are normal! I swear! I think that maybe you are more introspective than some people, which is a GOOD thing. So many people go through their lives and have feelings like this and just push them aside. You question them and think about them and try to find ways to make them better. Way better than pushing it down and ignoring it! Congrats on potty training Luke! I'm sure everyone has told you that it usually takes boys a long time, you are a lucky mom!
ReplyDeleteP.S. You are normal! hehe
OW. I hope your foot gets better soon :(
ReplyDelete