La La Land, La La Land!

When I was a kid, I called Disneyland "La La Land".  Not sure why, I think it was just fun to say.  I have vivid memories of my brother and I cheering "La La Land!" over and over and over and we jumped on my parents bed at 5am, ready to hop in the VW van and make our way to the happiest place on earth.  Now, I have some great new memories to add to the photo books.  I took a ton of pictures, but here are just a few little moments... after all, I am supposed to be on "vacation" this week! 

 How cute are these?!?

Nathan's view for most of the day, when he wasn't in the Ergo...

Lights, lights, and more lights!

Fireworks!

Sitting in Mickey's chair

Perfect spot for Lucas, the biggest hose on earth!

Lucas wouldn't stop kissing and hugging Mickey

Nathan, chillin' in the hotel

It's Okay Not To Let Go

The obvious solution was to sell it.  ALL of it.  Every last piece. 

Every basket full of stamps, scissors, and ink hiding in the closets, every folder bursting at the seams with stickers and do-dads in my desk, and every beautiful sheet of hand selected 12x12 paper stacked up in the garage.

Every reminder of the free time I once had, every glimpse of the passion and love of paper that still resides inside me, but is no longer fed and nourished by quiet evenings with my craft.

There is no time these days.  My priorities have changed.  There are so many digital options that are quicker, easier, and cleaner.  I need the space for the growing collections of clothes, toys, art projects and other child related items that are taking over our house. 

But first... One Last Hurrah.  I had to finish Nathan's baby book.

I couldn't be one of those mothers who goes all out on her first child with handmade quilts, clothes, and scrapbooks, but leaves the second one with nothing other than hand me downs and a box full of unorganized photos. 

My cute little number two...

So, this week I picked up 9 months worth of photos from Target.  I got out my supplies.  I pulled out the book that I had purchased when I was pregnant with Nathan.  I started piecing it together.  And I re-lit the spark between me and my paper, the love affair that I pushed away so long ago. 

Lesson learned, Mama, even though you don't have the time you used to for "extras" like scrapbooking, don't give it up all together!  This week, with every page I put together, I grew more and more excited.  Looking at the photographs, telling Nathan's story, imagining him turning the pages of this book with his own children some day.  I knew I couldn't do it.  It all had to stay, happily stuffed in closets and drawers.  I may not have all the time in the world, but if I was able find time to do it today, then I can find time again tomorrow, or next week, or next year.  It doesn't have to be all or nothing.  When Nathan's album is done, I am going to stash my supplies back in the garage, closet, and desk drawers.  And they will be there, waiting for me again, whenever I am ready.  And it may be awhile, because I'm busy hanging with the three most awesome boys in the world... 

My Boys, on Father's Day. 

For the next week, we are on "Vacation".  Hubby's home for 10 days, and we have lots of family fun adventures planned, starting with Disneyland!  I'm going to try and take a break from my computer, and log off facebook mobile as well...  we'll see how long it lasts!  Thank you to my new followers, I will be visiting all of you when I get back!  


Love, 
Suzanne

ABC's to Mudslides, and Everything in Between...

I wish I could open this post with something that would snatch your attention and draw you in, giving you no choice but to hang on to every descriptive word I type, reading line after line after line, unable to stop.  I wish I had something so profound to tell you, that you would be forced to stop and think, laugh, smile, or cry.  I wish I had something to say that would stay with you all day and into the night, invading your dreams and the quietness of the night.  I wish I knew what to write, at this very moment, but I do not.  

I could write about summer, today being the first day of the season.  Our plans for swimming and barbecues, mini-vacations and daily adventures.  

I could write about the boys.... how Lucas can sing his ABC's from start to finish or how Nathan can feed himself an entire meal now.  How I no longer have to puree an array of vegetable, fruit, and soup concoctions and freeze them into little cubes. 

I could write about weaning, about how hard it is emotionally to let go of that connection with my son.  A little thought in the back of my mind that says "maybe he's my last baby" and I'm not ready for him to grow up yet.  Back to nursing in the middle of the night, and sleeping less, simply because that is our quiet time, and is the only time he will accept me over a bottle. 

or maybe this...

Standing in the checkout line of CVS yesterday, I looked at the conveyor belt.  

In front of me a young girl, I'm guessing seventeen, has a basket of cover girl makeup, sour patch kids, and spicy cheetos.  She looks young, shy, and naive.  A beautiful young woman dreaming of her future, or maybe just a summer of fun, a new boyfriend, or an escape to college in the fall.  

I find myself envying her innocence and freedom, remembering my own inner turmoil at such a young age.  

I glance behind me and glimpse another basket, and a whole other spectrum of the universe.  

An older man, guessing middle sixties, with a bottle of mudslide mix, some beef jerky, and a jar of peanuts.  

The innocence is gone.  The freedom is there but it is clouded over by alcohol, bills, and a large dose of reality.  Is he wondering what happened to his youth?  

I looked in my own basket.  Baby Q-tips.  Calamine lotion.  Red Bulls for Ryan.  A squirt gun and Diego gloves for Lucas.  Not bad, I thought, I may have lost my innocence, but I've grown into a wife, mother, and bill paying homeowner.  When I need innocence, I can look at the faces of the two most precious boys in the world.  When I need freedom, I can come to my computer and write, write, write.  And I can enjoy every second of my life, with or without the beef jerky and mudslides. 

Fluid, in a literal sense...

Not much time for writing tonight, so here are my photos from today's CBC assignment.  The theme was "fluid".  I just have to add that I was shooting at the worst time of day, as far as lighting goes... it was about 12:30.  But I'm still happy with the results.  Day six and I'm still shooting in MANUAL!

A little Music, Some Heavy Metal, and a lot of Growth

A couple nights ago I was watching Glee with my husband.  It is one of my (our) favorite shows to watch together.  The music is so engaging, and the plot is addicting.  We just can't get enough of it.  For me, it is about the music - seeing and feeling the emotional connection the characters have to the songs, and remembering my own high school and college years, and my own collection of meaningful music from that time. 
On the season finale a couple nights ago, they performed a collection of Journey songs.  The first one - Faithfully.  Goosebumps covered my arms as I listened to the opening verse.  I love this song!  It takes me back to my far far past.  I remember sitting in the back seat of my parents car, driving home from Santa Monica along PCH, staring at the beautiful ocean, the sunset, the people down on the beach, and listening to that song.  Thinking about how someday, I would meet the love of my life, and walk along that beach with him.  Thinking that someday, the words to that song would mean something to me, and I would be able to relate to the emotions I heard in their voices.  Now, I didn't marry a musician, but I can still relate to that song.  The love.  The "Forever Yours".  It is classic in my book. 

I'm thinking I'm going to go back and make my own "mixed tape" playlist of all those songs that I remember having a connection to when I was young.  I don't listen to those songs enough anymore.  But when one pops up, like it did on Glee this week, I love the goosebumps!

Here are days Four and Five photos and assignments for Creativity Boot Camp!

Day Four: Heavy Metal
This one was easy for me.  The first thing I thought of was my wedding rings.  Well, other than the idea of dressing Lucas up in some white face paint and a black wig....  didn't think he'd go for that though!

Day Five: Grow
This one was so much fun!  Honestly, I had to stop myself.  Having two little ones in the house, I feel like everything around me symbolizes the word "Grow".  My favorite shot though, is the one of the stick figures on our sliding glass door.

If you're still here..... here's a video of "Faithfully" from 1983.

Time Out: Back in the mood for words...

I've been in photography mode since Sunday and have barely written more than a few words this week. But, I am inspired again! Can you tell?!  I made myself a pretty new blog header to go with my pretty green stripes, and I'm enjoying my pretty new layout.  I love it! 

And that familiar feeling is back.  That NEED to write feeling.  Today, I suddenly began experiencing the withdrawal from weeks of wordless-ness and blogger's block.

Thanks to all the fun and creative activities I've been doing in Boot Camp this week, and all the great comments and conversations on blogfrog and flickr, my mind is overflowing with thoughts and emotions.  Happy ones.  Good ones. 

Right now, honestly, I just feel very content. I am satisfied with how things are in my life right now. Normally, I'm trying to get to the next step, working to make something prettier or cleaner or just plain better. Always trying to do about seven things at once. And, always feeling a bit like I'm losing my mind.

Today, I'm done with trying too hard. I'm done with wanting to be perfect. I'm done trying to be who other people want me to be. I'm just content. being. me. Really.  And, if there's one thing I've learned so far in this creative journey, it's to be one hundred percent ME, and let everyone see who I am. 

Multilayered: Day Three of Boot Camp!

Today's theme is "Mulitlayered". I found some inspiration outside early this morning, mostly looking at the natural layers of tree bark, fruit, and flowers. I'm having so much fun with this course! I would never have thought to photograph our little brick wall.

Life's a Picnic

So today's boot camp theme is Picnic.  I was excited to take the boys outside and have a little picnic snack, snap some cute photos, and play for awhile.  That didn't happen.  The closest I got was pulling the picnic basket down from the shelf in the garage.  Life sort of got in the way today.  But, I did have a few minutes in the afternoon, light was perfectly shining in the living room windows, and again on our front patio around dinner time.  I brought out the blanket, and got a few shots.  Again, all shot in manual.... and I'm wondering why my pictures are so grainy?  Oh well, trying again tomorrow!  

Here are my photos, with a little less literal meaning of the word "picnic".  I think I'll go with "Life's a Picnic".  Enjoy!

Ivory - Day One of Boot Camp

Today's boot camp theme was "Ivory". The first thing that came to my mind was Ivory Soap, and I envisioned a messy adventure in the back yard with Lucas. But, it turns out no one sells Ivory Snow around here. So, plan B. Looked around the house, couldn't find anything other than the flowers in the yard. So I stopped trying, and then things started popping up. The butterfly in the garden, and a magical game of peek a boo with Lucas. I love how these photos turned out. And... it's my first time ever shooting in manual mode on my camera (which is why the pictures are a little funky). I have a lot to learn, but I think that considering, I did pretty well!

Yeah, this is a little cheesey with the light around his head, but I was having a little fun in Lightroom.  Learning, it's a process!

Summer Vacation is BACK!

My First Crop of Sweet Peas

I haven't had a summer vacation since 2002, just before my last year at UC Santa Barbara.  If I remember correctly, I spent that summer waitressing at night, working for my mom by day, and hanging out with my friends and future hubby in my spare time.  We stayed up late, slept in late, went to movies and clubs, took road trips, and acted like the twenty somethings we were.  

Now, 8 years later, it's summer vacation again.  Mommy and Me preschool is out for the summer, and come end of August, Lucas will start real preschool.  I can't believe it.  I really just can't believe it.  It has sort of hit me that when fall comes, I will no longer be the only one that cares for him all day long, that teaches him about art, nature, or music.  He will be out in the great big world without me, learning from his teachers, developing relationships with friends, growing up.  I don't know if I'm ready for this. 

So, I'm going to distract myself with some fun ideas for the kids and I to do this summer. as well as some weekend ideas for us as a family.  Goals to aim for during the next few months, I guess I should call them.  Here goes:

Swimming Lessons

Making Peach Pie (from our tree)

Disneyland

Lots of beach days

Berry picking at Underwood Farms (and maybe another pie)

Fourth of July Fireworks

Lots of Art Projects

Ant Farm

Bubbles

Slip 'n Slide

Neighborhood Waterpark

Lake Casitas Water Park

Cotton Candy and Roasted Corn at the VC Fair

Ojai Farmers Market

Lots of meals from our garden

Watermelon Sorbet

Home made popcicles

Creativity Boot Camp!

Have you heard of this!? For the next two weeks, this is what I will be doing!  Starting Sunday, my free time will be in Maegan's hands... Can't wait to get started!

It's been awhile...

I've been having a little too much fun playing with my kids, taking photos, doing art projects, and catching up on some things at home.  I haven't been in the mood for blogging...  I think that's going to change next week when I start Maegan's Creativity Boot Camp!  Until then, here's a bit of what we've been doing.