I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I no longer feel completely helpless and hopeless, we hit the 8 week mark yesterday, and even though it was one of the worst days in over a week, I know an end is coming soon.
I am grossed out by how messy and disorganized my life is right now. Everything from my car to my house to the stroller is covered in toddler snacks, spilled formula, and littered with dirty laundry, trash, and out of place toys. Everything is in disarray. My to do list is about a mile long and spread apart into about a hundred lists all over the house, I've been neglecting my friends, and poor Lucas barely has been able to play out of the house. I feel completely scatterbrained and am going bananas. But there is HOPE!
Every time I near the end of a phase in my life, I get the urge to start re-doing things, fixing things, cleaning things, and creating things. It doesn't matter what kind of phase, this is just what I have always done. That's how I know this is coming to and end... because I am getting in the mood!
Last pregnancy, by the end of the first trimester, I was so sick of being stuck in bed, seeing the same thing every day for weeks, that I wanted to redo the entire top floor of the guest house we were living in. Luckily, we decided to move to an apartment, so that took care of that.
This time, we are staying put. And again, I have spent so much time laying in bed, feeling sick, that I cannot stand to look at our bedroom! I already am coming up with lists of projects that we need to do. Get new sheets, finally finish our bathroom (it's been nearly a year and there is still no sink!), go through all my clothes and get rid of stuff, clean my car, organize the garage, bla bla bla bla... and I am going nuts because I don't yet have the energy to do any of this, and we don't exactly have remodeling worked into our budget right now... paying debt is more important! So, we'll see where I go with these plans, but for now, I want CHANGE!
Here is my list, mostly for me, of what I need to work on when I am feeling better...
Celiac testing for lucas
Weekly menu planning and smart grocery shopping
Clean, wash and get car serviced
Get lucas on a better routine for meals, naps, and bedtime
Switch lucas to one nap and cut out daytime bottles
Cut out baby food and get lucas used to eating more table food
Figure out some sort of weekly schedule for laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, etc.
Fix fencing in back yard to keep lucas safe
Exercise.... walk with lucas at least 4 times a week
Be more strict about my own diet
Plan more stamping/scrapbook nights with my friends
Wash the windows
Steam clean the couch
Finish Lucas's photo album
Clean/organize the garage
Donate/sell unwanted stuff
I'm sure there is way more, but that's all I can think of for now... and I'm ALL over it, once I feel human again!